Pants down, bra off. The nurse hands me a hospital gown and I tiptoe into the scan room barefoot.
The room is divided into two parts. The machine and I on one side. The doctor and the nurse on the other. We are separated by a screen that protects them from the very rays that I am about to be exposed to.
I climb onto the machine, lie down, close my eyes and wait for instructions. Hold still, hold your arms up, hold your breath. The camera of the machine starts rolling. It speeds up as though it were about to take flight. I, meanwhile, am thinking positive thoughts. Tumor shrinking thoughts. Normal cell activity thoughts. This time it has got to work out. After everything I've been through. After almost two years of hell.
I'm not ready for my world to fall apart again.
i hear ya. after a clean PET and my radio i still feel like that every day. just "please let it all be ok". thinking of you lots and praying for a nice clean scan. do you have any radio or anything after this?
ReplyDeleterach xx
Toivottavasti, todella, kaikki oli ja on kunnossa! -m-
ReplyDeletePlease, would you let us know how you are doing? I hope that everything's ok!
ReplyDeleteHey!
ReplyDeleteYES!!! I got a clean scan 12th January 2012!
Life has happily gotten in the way of blog writing. :)
One day, soon, I'll be sure to write another update.
Kisses and hugs.