Neupogen My Friend

The ultimate white cell booster!

It turns out that since last Wednesday (25th May), I've been having some kind of general infection in my body. One of the perks of chemotherapy, I guess. I was admitted to the hospital on Friday 27th, and have been here ever since, hoping and waiting for finally getting home again. Maybe tomorrow? Please? The doctors suspect that the infection has its origen in an uncured pneumonia which they're now dealing with antibiotics. On top of all that, I've had almost zero white cells, which has made it even harder to get the medicine working, plus the fact that they've had me in complete isolation with only Neupogen to accompany me. To tell you the truth, it has been hellish. I've had high fevers, pain, depression, you name it. I've never felt so powerless before, and in my worst moments I've even come to consider of throwing in the towel and just walking away of all this shit. They say that in life, we are only given a burden, which we know we can carry, but really, I find this a bit excessive.

A tired soldier...

These little bastards made their first impressions on my body around 20.30 this evening. Not feeling really really nauseous still, but dead tired!

                                        

Por qué, por qué, por qué?

Despite the fear of sounding as whiny as Real Madrid's coach Mourinho, let me just vent here a minute.

Why do they ALWAYS put me in hospital rooms with old ladies who snore like HELL!? I mean, no disrespect, but I can't fucking sleep. And I need to sleep. The doctors are planning on waking me up at 6 a.m., that is, in 3 hours, for my 2nd day of intensive chemo regimen and give me Ifosfamide (the I in the ICE aka the cherry on top of the cake) through the vein for 24 hours. I have already been warned that it's going to get nasty.

On a positive note: the passing day was a success.I had the IV drip of carboplatin only for a half an hour, and thanks to 7 different anti-nausea drugs, I had no side effects whatsoever. These nurses know their shit, fo'sho!

Ice ice baby!

Laura vs. Mr. Hodgkin's. Round 2.

I had my doctor's appointment this Monday and was given some bad news. After various blood tests, biopsies and CT scans, they've come to the conclusion that my cancer is back. It seems the radiotherapy given to me in January and February wasn't able to eliminate all the cancer cells, and now the disease has spread from the lymphatic system to surrounding tissues and bones.

Tomorrow, 18th May 2011, I'll be starting with a salvage chemotherapy regimen called ICE. It's an in-patient intensive treatment, so I'll have to stay in the hospital for three days. If this protocol works, I'll be doing it for 3-5 cycles every 21 days and after that a stem cell transplant.

I'd write more but my brain is blank. Crazy times...

Up with the Owls

Sleepless in Suomi. One week after chemo, I always have trouble sleeping. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one. http://journals.lww.com/oncology-times/Fulltext/2010/01250/Insomnia_More_Common_in_Patients_Receiving.2.aspx

Top Ten Ways to Get a Taste of the Chemo Experience

the standard dripping speed, 500

Wanna play aswell? Now's your chance!

(This is from a website, posted by a 22-year old Hodgkin's lymphoma survivor.) 

10. Set down a delicious array of food before you, then eat only wood pulp for several days
9.  Throw up on your lawn
8.  Each week at a pre-determined time, wake up, collect some bees and let them sting you, (for that "I can't seem to get a vein" feeling, apply one of the little brutes to your arm with scotch tape)

                                                         7.  Throw up on your neighbor's lawn

yep, there it goes

6.  Shave off your eyebrows, take out your eyelashes (except maybe 3) then Nair the rest of your body. Don't worry, the burning is normal.
5.  For that fun Ativan feeling, wander into a room and ponder all possible means of the word Amazing. Walk out of the room, repeat.
4.  Hang upside down from a tree until your face is cherry red, this will help with the dizzy/flushed, red faced feeling of Adriamycin
3.  Lay around feeling like you got hit by a truck
2.  Attempt to drink Ensure while you are nauseated. To become nauseated, drink an Ensure.

1. Congratulations, you've finished one chemo treatment, how many more do you get to do?

The Final Countdown

Dear December,
Here's my timetable for you:

                                      
2nd December: Chemo 12/12 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

7th December: Final PET-scan

13th December (Saint Lucia's day) : The decisive doctor's appointment. Depending on the PET-scan results, the options are the following:

1. I'm in remission i.e. cancer-free OR
2. Four more chemotherapy sessions are needed.

It goes without saying that I'm hoping and praying for the first option to come true. Keep your fingers crossed on Saint Lucia's day. It'd be nice to feel all that positive energy hovering over me that day.  

Hugs!