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3rd June 2010: I'm on a plane to Finland. My fear of flying has suddenly disappeared and I'm taking pictures of the landing. Unheard of.

4th June 2010: My first visit to the Hospital in Helsinki (www.hus.fi). I get a lump in my throat (no pun intended) just by seeing a sign "CANCER PATIENTS". Is that me? Do I have to go through that door? The nurse hands me a paper and says: "this is the only thing that matters now. The rest is unimportant". It's a sort of calendar with all the tests that have to be run the following days.

7th June 2010: CAT scan. I have to drink about 4 litres iodine water which tastes disgusting. In the exam room they also introduce iodine intravenously. The nurse kindly explains that first I'll feel an iron taste in my mouth, then a strange feeling as though my organs were on fire, and last but not least, a sensation as if I had peed in my pants. Fun, huh? All through the procedure, I feel completely separated from my body, like this were something they were doing to a doll. My personality is not present.

The following days two more tests are being carried out. A biopsy (an experience I'd rather not remember, since the anaesthesia lost its effect when the needle was still inside my neck) and a PET scan. The PET scan is harmless (despite the fact that the liquid they put in your body is radioactive, what the fuck?). It's time consuming, though. They tell you to lie down for about an hour, but you can't move. It's forbidden to even read since it would mean that you'd have to raise your arms.

Anyway, I'm done with the pinching and probing for now. The real battle is ready to begin. Tuesday 29th June. First session of chemotherapy. Oh dear.