The Story So Far (1)

Let's recap.

27th-28th May 2010: I find a little lump on the right side of my neck, just above the clavicle. My flatmates advise me to go to the doctor, just to be on the safe side. The next day, before going to work, I spend the morning at the waiting room of Barcelona's Sagrat Cor Hospital where eventually at one o'clock the doctor sees me. She starts feeling my neck and informs me I have various lymphnodes swollen and that this needs to be looked into. She orders a blood test, an x-ray, and an ultrasound. At this point, she's talking about the possibility of having an infection or even tuberculosis and tells me not to worry.

1st June 2010: I find myself underground. It's the part of the hospital where the x-ray and ultrasound machines live. I've come alone for the tests since after all, this is no biggie, nothing, just a simple flu I'm having, right? After the tests, the doctor tells me to get an appointment urgently with my general physician. She says that in the lung x-rays one can see that this is a classic case of a lymphoma. The door of her office is wide open. The people outside in the waiting area can hear her. Their pity is burning on my back when I leave the place.

2nd June 2010: After a chaotic start and some lift-travelling from floor 1 to floor 5 and then back to 1 (bureaucracy kills), I finally get to see the doctor. She tells me the final results of the tests and strongly recommends me to leave everything: my job and my studies, and take the first plane to Finland. She says it with such a grave tone that it is the first time the information sinks in. I'm seriously ill. I'm 28 and I have cancer. I find it hard to see myself out of the room: my legs feel heavy, my eyes are red and hazy, and I feel like throwing up.