I'm borrowing the title of the post from Mr. Melville. His first chapter of Moby Dick starts with the same words. According to Merriam Webster, "to loom" is "to appear to the mind in a magnified and threatening form". It's such a great word, probably my favourite in English and somehow fitting to my state of mind of not knowing what to expect from the months to come.
Anyway, I'm rambling...
Today was a bad day. It all started at breakfast table when I suddenly blacked out and both my parents had to carry me to the bedroom, lift my legs and sprinkle some water all over my face. I recovered quickly though, and was able to have some tea and toast (coffee is still my nr.1 enemy). I had to soak the toast in the teacup, since my mouth hurts like HELL. The chemo drugs seem to be so strong that they tear open the gums. I was sucking ice cubes and eating popsicles all day, and couldn't move from the bed. I considered it an achievement when I finally at 2 pm managed to get myself to the shower, and change from pajamas to normal clothes.
I really hope that tomorrow will be better and I can finally post something positive. I mean, c'mon, how long can this feeling "like a tractor has driven over you" last?
P.S. Talking about the big white whale, here's a fine poem about it. http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15516
Laura, it is amazing and great that you can write about days like this one - and most importantly, be aware that it has been a bad day: one bad day. There will be better days, for sure. And one of them (of those good days) I will buy you a nice, icecold xibe and draw you a picture of The Stuckman. Until then, I will follow your incredibly well written blog and send you the best of energies... and oh, I've made you a songlist on Spotify. Here ya' go my dearest Tammy - hope you like it:
ReplyDeletehttp://open.spotify.com/user/barbarella/playlist/4kXgcUOmUlFSd7qc989Quj
Keep up that strong fighting spirit! You have all the support from your personal fanclub here on your blog! We are all "al tanto de tu día a día".
Besos
Barbara
Thank you so much Massy!! I'm waiting impatiently for the day when I get to see the picture of The Stuckman.
ReplyDeleteYour playlist is awesome. I can't believe that "Lauraaaaah, se te ve la tangaaa!" is in Spotify. And Kevin Johansen is just precious, I hadn't listened to him in ages - "me hace daaaño!". Hehe.
Today is a good day!
Muchos besos!
Lau.
Voi höh miten inhottavia sivuvaikutuksia. Olen niin vaikuttunut siitä että jaksat kirjoitella vaikka sinulla on noin huono olo. Kun tuntuu että jaksat niin tule ihmeessä käymään, mehän olemme melkein naapureita! Lähetän aina sinulle lämpimiä ajatuksia kun kävelen Björkvägenin (olisikohan Koivutie på finska? ;))ohi! Lupaan etten keitä sinulle kahvia. Ja pakastin on täynnä mehujäitä. Hali Laura.
ReplyDeleteLämpimät ajatuksesi saapuivat ehdottomasti Björkvägenille (jep, Koivutie på finska), koska eilen oli jo huomattavasti parempi päivä. Kiitos! Tulen ehdottomasti käymään, kun olo ei ole total zombie. Heh heh.
ReplyDeleteHali,
Lau.
Hehee, me hace daaaaño! You won't believe it, but I actually still have the original artwork of The Stuckman. I kept it, figuring maybe it will be worth thousands and thousands of dollars some day... You never know, right? Hehee..
ReplyDeletePatrik querida!! te estoy leyendo... y de esta manera te acompaño. Sos muy valiente. Un gran abrazo!! Regi
ReplyDelete