Hospital Dialogues

Laura: There should be a ”How-to-Build-Up-Your-Self-Esteem” course before getting cancer. That way you could be prepared.
Marja: Yes, indeed. It's hard to be confident in this state.
L: Yeah. I look in the mirror and see all these changes.
M: But in your case they're temporary. Besides, that hat really suits you.
L: Thanks. What I mean is, it's like I've lost my identity. I find it hard to like myself. The hair loss, the puffiness, the bruises in my stomach. Is that vanity?
M: Just because we have cancer, doesn't mean we can't be vain. Of course fighting the illness is the most important thing, but you are allowed to feel more superficial things. I think it's perfectly normal what you're thinking. I feel like I've lost my identity aswell.
L: Well, aren't we a pair.
M: I used to be a very active person. Now I just lie on my bed like a herring.
L: Well, I'm turning into Emily Dickinson: so much life inside the brain, but no social life to speak of.
M: I'm sure that's not the case. You seem so full of life...
L: No, but it's true. I know they advise you to live your life as normally as you can. And I really try, but sometimes it gets too unbearable. For example, I have this class reunion in October, and I'm thinking whether to go or not. I can just imagine the conversation:
-”So, Laura, what's up? How have you been?”
-” Fine, well, I have cancer.”
-”Oh....”.
It's like being the biggest loser there. I don't know.
M: How dreadful!
L: I know...
M: I missed my grandson's birthday last week because I wasn't feeling too well. One of my biggest sorrows in life is that I know I don't get to see him grow up.
L: Oh...